The Bully

When I was around 8 yrs old I broke my arm. I fell from high up on a tree and cracked my wrist. It was the worst pain I had ever felt at the time. I remember the doctor stretching my arm out of the bent position that it was stuck at. He proceeded to put on a plaster cast on it. Now days that put some other kind of cast. Now they put on some kind of mesh material thing that basically does the same thing. The difference is that it isn't as fun to sign and I don't think it is quite as strong or hard as the plaster one was.
One Saturday morning, my brother and I went outside to where all the kids from the neighborhood were playing. For some reason there was a solemn look on our neighbors face. He explained that a kid from the other street was going to come and fight him. The kid was older than all of us, and back then that automatically meant that he was much bigger, stronger, and meaner too. I don't remember the reason why he wanted to come over there but I do remember the fear in the air from all of us younger kids. My brother decided then that he would help Hugh, our neighbor and that they would work together to defeat Goliath. They would circle around him and attack from different angles to defeat him.
Just like that Goliath was there. He seemed to be 8 ft tall although he was probably much smaller. It was on. I with my plaster cast broken arm just watched. Some wrestling and shoving started and the fight was underway. Anytime my brother or Hugh would attack, Goliath attacked harder. He was much bigger and determined to defeat the two younger kids. Although there wasn't much more than a couple small body slams or punches in the stomach or chest, it seemed like our street kids were going to lose. I didn't enjoy watching my brother get hurt. Hugh's little brother who was all of 7, but a tough little kid, joined. Again I just stood and watched. Now Goliath was giving a beating to three kids. My best friend, Heath, his brother Hugh and my own brother. I had to get in there. I had no choice. So I did. Now all four of us were surrounding him. Telling him to leave our street. He would not leave. We tried hard to intimidate him but it didn't work. He was going to take us all on. Now my brother and Hugh decided to attack at the same time. Goliath's back was to me as he fought my brother and Hugh. I couldn't really tell who was winning but I was sure it was my time to act. I felt the heaviness and hardness of my cast. That's it! It hit me like a bolt of lightning. Just then I came in like a Zepplin from the sky. CRACK! I hit Goliath in the back with all a force that an 8 yr old could muster. It hurt him. Big time! The cast was heavy and strong. It gave me a weapon of mass destruction. It was a force. He turned to me with a cry of pain and now focused on me. Terror struck me. I was scared as he made his way towards me to give me payback. I backed up and could not run. Embracing myself to take a blow I almost closed my eyes. Just then, both my brother and Hugh attacked again. Making sure he wouldn't get attacked from behind again he turned quickly to fight them again. They came in and attacked. This took his eyes off me again. This time I put my arm in front of me and charged. I ran full force and again, WHAM! Into the middle of his back again. Another wince of pain on his face. This time he yelled at me. "I am gonna break your other arm!" Once again he turned to me, once again my brother and Hugh attacked, once again he turned back, once again I charged. Once again Tag! Goliath was done. This wasn't worth it anymore. He cussed a little and took off. Took off running. Like a bunch of cheerleaders we were jumping up and down. We won. Although I felt like a hero that day, it was truly truly a joint effort. If they didn't help, he really might have broke my other arm. Its almost scary sometimes when we think about how circumstances seemed to perfectly come together. Maybe that's the way things were supposed to be. I thank God.

Can you hear Him calling?

Can you hear him calling?
Did he ask you stand not sit?
Did he ask you to run not walk?
Did you close your ears to the sound of His voice?
Did he ask you to be extraordinary and not ordinary?
Did he ask you to change what you think is realistic?
Did he ask you to do better? Not be content with the effort you gave.
Will you try harder?
Did he ask you to think of others? Not just your family and friends, but strangers and enemies.
Maybe he is calling you now. Pick up the phone of your soul. Pick it up.

I, the Lord of sea and sky
I have heard my people cry
All who dwell in dark and sin
My hand will save.

I who made the stars and night
I will make the darkness bright
Who will bear my light to them
Whom shall I send?

Here I am Lord
Is it I Lord?
I have heard you calling in the night
I will go Lord
If you lead me
I will hold your people in my heart.

I the Lord of snow and rain
I have borne my people's pain
I have wept for love of them
They turn away.

I will break their hearts of stone
Fill their hearts with love alone
I will speak my word to them
Whom shall I send?

Here I am Lord
Is it I Lord?
I have heard you calling in the night
I will go Lord
If you lead me
I will hold your people in my heart.

Danielle O'Donnell

The RIde

It was 1984. I was thirteen yrs old and my brother was turning fifteen soon. We lived in a little one story house on the northeast side of Indy. I remember it being the beginning of summer but I am not quite sure. Since there was no such thing as a cell phone any and all fun things needed to be planned ahead. This includes things normally done spontaneously. Around nine oclock on some friday in some part of the summer, five kids all between the age of thirteen and fifteen started calling each other on the phone. The plan was for Henry to pick us up sometime after 10 pm. Henry was fourteen. He was the rebel of our Korean church. The one who was willing to try anything and knew no limits. I am sure if you think about it you know someone like that. But Henry was also one of the best friends anyone can ask for. So what he planned was to steal his father's customized van for a joyride. This van was cool as it had cabinets, a couch, a table and other things we just don't see anymore. The closest thing that resembles it is an RV. So my brother and I patiently waited for a van to park outside our house. Finally around midnight, it came. Henry turned off his lights waited outside. Now the front door was too close to my parents room. The windows although in the front were too difficult to open because of the way my Dad painted them. My brother suggested we go through the garage. Our garage did not have a door that led outside. What we did was open the garage door itself but stopped it at about a foot and a half. Then we rolled outside. When we got into the van we saw all our church crew. Five of us were ready to hit the town. At least as much as a group of Korean early teens could in the mid 80's. Jamming to the radio, listening to Def Leppard or the Thomson Twins, we were off. We drove everywhere and loved every minute of it. At one point we argued which way we would go and someone yelled "turn left " to our driver. Right then he ran over a median and scared us all to death as we bounced up and down in the back of the van. When we drove a little outside of the Indy area, we hit some long country roads. Henry decided he was going to test the limits of the van. He pushed that poor van all the way to 95 miles per hour. Once again this is in the mid 80's. Cars weren't pushed like this. Henry pushed. All night long we drove around. We were free. Free from our parents telling us what to do all the time. Free from a teacher or any authority. A taste of absolute freedom. If you were waiting for a lesson in this story about how we were humbled and learned that freedom came at a price, sorry. It didn't happen. We had a blast. Henry brought us back at 4am. We rolled back under the garage door. Closed it. Tiptoed back to our room. Slept with a smile. Life went on. We all grew up and truthfully none of us really see much of each other anymore. That's life. But that night, we were free. We were together. We had fun. The excitement of not knowing what will happen can be quite the rush. Now its just quite a memory.

Nothing Gold can Stay

Natures first green is gold

Her hardest hue to hold

Her early leaf's a flower

But only so an hour

Then leaf subsides to leaf

So eden sank to grief

And dawn goes down to day

Nothing gold can stay....

Robert Frost

undefeated...spirit

Back when I was in Middle school, I used to play alot of sports. For some reason it was everything back then. People really looked up to you if you were in a sport or had some kind of talent. Even teachers gave you special treatment sometimes. In the fall I played football which I loved but in the winter it was wrestling. Wrestling is a team sport based on individual effort. When the scores are tallied up it is a team thing. When YOU are up it is all you. No one but you and your opponent. This was my first year wrestling. I tried to make the basketball team ( my fav sport), but just wasn't good enough. The whole year I wrestled junior varsity. I tried to move up to varsity but an evil misguided redhead stood in my way. Before every match the coach asked if anyone wanted to challenge for the varsity spot. Other 7th graders declined because they were tired of being humiliated by their 8th grade counterpart. After about 4 or 5 failed attempts most just humbly declined and gladly wrestled jv. Not me. H-ll no, not me! If TE (the redhead) wanted to be varsity another week another match, he would have to go through me again and again and again. He even gasped as the end of the year was near and I was the ONLY one who still challenged the reigning varsity wrestler. Did I win? No, I was pinned. Out of anger and feeling like I didn't respect him, TE even made the match more painful by crossfacing harder and making rougher movements that are hard to notice by the coach. It did not deter me from trying. But I failed yet again. This was the last dual meet and my last chance and I failed. But there was actually one more time. One more chance to wear the nice blue and red singlet and not the crappy sky blue one. It was for the big end of the year 8way match. 8 schools met on a Saturday to compete in a tournament. If I could pull this upset, then I could be in that tournament. My dreams were clear from the start of the season. I want to wrestle varsity. "Give it all you got Jerry" "Everything you've got". I will be faster, stronger, agile, hostile, mobile. And yes, I even prayed. I will succeed. When I played football I didn't even know how to put on the pads and gear. Still I excelled. When other kids told me that I wouldn't play a position, I did. Why would this be any different? Just try as hard as you can and then some I told myself. The Wednesday before the meet was the last day. The coach asked almost half heartedly just because it was a formality. "Why even bother" he must have been thinking. "I want to challenge again", as I jumped up. TE was really pissed now. Why after 8 times, almost everytime being pinned, will this pudgy Korean 7th grader never quit. He looked at me with some serious mean eyes. I tried to look just as southern back. I gave my meanest Mr. T stare. If I could just intimidate him back, maybe I would have a chance. Maybe he would feel the fear of this Korean tiger coming at him, ready to tear him limb from limb. It didn't seem to work. As we both walked on the mat, I noticed almost all the team had left for the locker room. My one true friend on the team John L. stayed behind. He would root for me.
Coach made us shake hands in the center of the mat. I honestly didn't want to so as to not give up my vicious stare. Shreeeeeeek! The whisle blew. It was on like Donkey Kong. Locked posistion jockeying for position and balance. Damn he was strong. Growling as if it might help. Trying to squeeze the back of his neck and give him some pain as he was obviously giving me. All year long you've denied me my quest TE. This one is mine. My father didn't come to this country with 50 bucks to see his son fail at anything. Make your move redhead. I am waiting to counter. Make your move. He did. He went in for a single leg take down. Sprawl I told myself. You know what to do. Just do it. As he went in for the move, something happened. He fell forward and lost his balance. He messed up. Was God answering my prayer? Push his head down and spin around him to collect my 2 points and my red and blue uniform. I even SMILED as I began to spin around him. Just as I was almost behind him a large pipe stopped my impeding progress. It was his freckle laced arm. DAMN IT! He wasn't giving up this point easily. I would have begged him if I could breathe and talk. He held on with lots of pride. This time nature and logic were on my side. My leg was stronger than his arm. Enjoy the feeling of knowing all of you is NOT stronger than ALL of me. I got my 2 points. He immediately tried to escape. Arm bar and ankle. Grab them Jerry. Hold on....don't let him go. We fell out of bounds. 2-0. I chose the down position. I wasn't confident that I could pin him but maybe I could out point him. Shreeeek again! He put a half nelson around my neck and grabbed an ankle. Spiral ride they call this. He pinned me several times with this one. Not today. Everything I had to stop this. How dare you try the same thing? How could you not? Roll with it? Go against it? Not sure. Just stand up! That's it! Stand up. Both grips he had losened. He was shocked. I was free. ESCAPE! 1 point! I glanced over and Coach actually smiled. He was rooting for me! John put both hands in the air and cheered. I couldn't contain myself. I actually smiled at TE. From the beginning to this moment, I am the Champ! You are behind, you must catch up. I am about to realize my season goal and dream. HA! Now he was really pissed. My smile lasted only a sec as now he grabbed the back of my neck again. He really squeezed it hard. It really hurt. I couldn't even hide the pain. Thinking he was going for my legs again, I balanced myself and almost pre sprawled. I was leaning forward too soon! He grabbed my head and one arm and headlocked me, slammed me into the ground with a force of an earthquake. Down just like that. 2 points. He was actually suffocating me with his gross armpit. 2 more points as I barely avoided his first attempt at pinning me. Hold on! Find a way to escape! I gave everything thing I had. As my legs were stronger than his arms, HIS arms were way stronger than mine. He didn't have me yet. But it was clearly melting. I couldn't get out. Try try try. Every effort yielded more exhaustion. Last cry for strength. Last glance at coach and John. Neither one smiling. Last dream to have my Dad watch me on Sat. Last everything.... slowly being rolled on my back. Feeling like a turtle that can't get back to his base. Tear coming out of my eye. BEEP! Slam of the hand on the mat. I was pinned. Again. Both eyes watering as I have to shake his hand again. Don't cry Jerry. Don't give him the satisfaction. Keep it in. No use. As we shook hands, he didn't smile. What? He didn't rub it in? He wasn't mad or annoyed. He hit my back and said, " Good try." Now I had more water. Now it was out of guilt. Guilt for hating him, guilt for wanting to take his head off. I was regretful. I waited there for a minute. Everyone else went downstairs to the locker room. I came in last. Coach spoke," I thought you had it, was a heck of an effort, you'll do well next year. Come on Saturday if you want. A couple JV guys will be there maybe." Ok. I decided that the last gesture of compassion by my nemesis deserved at least my support on Saturday. I didn't have to be there, but I wanted to support the team. I'll come...My season was over. The next few days were happy days. Thursday went by, Friday went by. I guess I wasn't that upset. Sat morning came, I woke up my Mom to give me a ride. I wore my wrestling shoes as a fashion statment.(we all did anyway). I got there early to show support. I went downstairs to see the team even though most of my friends weren't there. When I got there TE the redhead was there with a really down look. ??? Not sure what was going on. Coach's eyes lit up when he saw me. He was glad to see me! He was glad to see me? " Jerry, TE has the flu. I'm glad you're here. You will be VARSITY today."said the coach. "What?" I asked. I heard him clear but I just wanted to hear it again. Again he said," YOU will be varsity at 135lbs". I could have screamed like a girl, but I didn't want to be mean to TE. I know he was the better wrestler, but......I was VARSITY....even for but a day. If I didn't come to support the team we would have forfeited that weight class. Loyalty, respect, and PRAYER did work. I was handed the singlet. Blue, red and white! Where are my shoes? ON me...ok.....Coach laughed at my excitement....he must have felt there was justice for my efforts....I agreed.......to be continued......

Lips

It was the Blizzard of 78. I woke up early that day because there was almost 3 feet of snow. The neighbors who lived behind us had a huge hill that all the kids used to go sledding on. It was a big hill compared to our size. I had the FASTEST sled. My father had given it to me as a Birthday/Christmas gift earlier that year. I remember constantly beating anything that tried to go up against me and my sled. Heck, it was almost like a toboggan. Red, sleek, curved upward. Size of my entire body. It was the bomb. My brother was not up yet as he loved to sleep in. My family was all stumbling around in the morning getting to where they needed to go. Not me. I was fired up. I couldn't put on my winter clothes fast enough. As soon as I was ready out the backdoor I ran. Huge steps I had to take as the snow was sooo high. Finally I got to the neighbors house. Racing up the hill I was ready to go. I saw other kids go down the hill in their metal or plastic mat like sleds. Pathetic. Mine was the best. No need to mess around. I was going to go head first and FLY down the hill. I jumped on head first on my belly and away I went. I was really going fast. I kept picking up speed as the snow was perfect. There were two giant trees at the end of the hill that everyone avoided. I don't remember why but I had a hard time maneuvering my sled. I was headed straight for the tree. Head first! I couldn't turn. Just like that i hit the tree. With my face. My lips were all busted up and I was spitting blood. I was dazed and confuzed. Sprawled out on the snow now. I was choking on my own blood. Hugh, our neighbor ran towards me and told me to lean over and spit. He told everyone that he would run to our house and tell my family. I don't know what it was about him but for some reason he was able to fly through the snow. He was a fast runner and nothing could stop him. After he told my family, my brother came running back with him. Hugh had all the kids put me in my sled and carry me over their heads back to home. My sled was now a stretcher. Hugh guided all the kids left and right all the way home up the hill and into my house. Later I received 6 stitches in my lips. If you ever noticed I have pretty big lips for a Korean. Very kissable I might add. Hugh, not surprisingly, became a fireman. Rescuing people became a career for him. I guess I was one of his first victims to save. Lol....Man ...those were the days.....